IRL Stories
An e-Diary of a Kid Named Calvin
Monday, July 6, 2026
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Saturday, May 23, 2026
People Pleaser... Good or Bad?
So it's Computer class. I was known to be the most genius one in computers. I'd help most classmates to get their work done. However. I'd help too much, my own work wasn't finished, lesser free time, and sometimes couldn't help their work but I'd chose to anyways.
As I scroll thru reels at night, I've learned this thing called People pleaser, which means in my own words, the person who would help people without minding their own business. I wasn't sure about that definition, so I asked ChatGPT about what a people pleaser means. Which is someone who habitually puts other people’s needs, approval, or comfort ahead of their own, often to avoid conflict, rejection, or disappointing others.
Now in this case in Computer classes, I guess I am a people pleaser...
Don't get me wrong. I am willing to help others cuz I'm a nice guy. Why am I nice? Cuz I'm... lonely??? You mates gonna be probably be wondering why am I still feeling lonely when you have family and friends. Yeah same. I don't get it. Why am I still feeling lonely? So.. anyways... I asked ChatGPT about the pros and cons of being a people pleaser, which is:
Pros of being a people pleaser
Some traits connected to people pleasing can genuinely be positive in moderation:
- Kind and supportive — often attentive to others’ emotions and needs
- Good at cooperation — helps maintain teamwork and harmony
- Empathetic — can understand how others feel
- Reliable and helpful — people may trust you to follow through
- Good social awareness — often sensitive to moods and conflict
- Can build connections easily — especially in new groups or friendships
Cons of being a people pleaser
The downside is when pleasing others becomes automatic or excessive:
- Difficulty saying no — leading to overload and stress
- Burnout — constantly giving energy without recharging
- Weak boundaries — others may take advantage of your willingness
- Resentment — helping others while secretly feeling unhappy about it
- Loss of identity — focusing so much on others that you stop knowing what you want
- Fear of conflict — avoiding honest conversations
- Low self-worth tied to approval — feeling valuable only when others are happy with you
- Attracting unhealthy relationships — some people exploit over-giving behavior
FYI, I'm not afraid to say no unless it's my really close friend. For others, including my parents, I would get slimed for saying no. Cuz I'm sure they understand me, and I understand them. So saying no isn't a difficult option. Now in families, saying no is a big no cuz they thought you're a disgrace to their family. And in others if you want to build new connections you have to try hard to earn them so saying no is a big risk. I remember when I was being me for too much I almost lose a friend for being weird, to this day I'd think sharing my music taste is a big risk to them cuz I would completely lose them again.
I also asked ChatGPT what are the reasons of becoming a people pleaser. Here it is:
Wanting approval or acceptance – They may feel valued only when others like them or praise them.
Fear of conflict – Saying "yes" can seem easier than risking an argument, disappointment, or rejection.
Childhood experiences – Growing up in an environment where they were rewarded for being compliant, helpful, or "the good kid" can teach them to prioritize others' needs.
Low self-esteem – They may believe their own needs are less important than everyone else's.
Anxiety – Worrying excessively about what others think can make it difficult to say no.
Responsibility for others' emotions – Some people feel they must keep everyone happy, even though that's not actually their responsibility.
Past rejection or criticism – If someone was frequently criticized or abandoned, they may try to prevent that from happening again by accommodating others.
People pleasing isn't always bad. Being kind, considerate, and helpful are positive traits. The problem arises when a person:
Constantly says yes when they want to say no.
Feels guilty for setting boundaries.
Neglects their own needs and well-being.
Bases their self-worth on others' approval.
Interestingly, many people pleasers don't do it because they are naturally selfless. Often, they're trying to avoid uncomfortable feelings such as guilt, anxiety, conflict, or rejection.
A healthy balance is being kind to others without sacrificing yourself. You can care about people's feelings while still having boundaries and expressing your own needs.
So is being a people pleaser good or bad? The answer is both. Good for lowering down ego, bad for your self-esteem. If you for example, have a crush on somebody, and in this opportunity that crush asked for your help, you should help them. However, if the connections were not developing, just give up bro... I mean, there's plenty of other nice people, you can try again in another time, i guess...
Well... Someone I knew must've been a people pleaser and meets those criteria. Yeah, me too, buddy, me too. And I'm curious about it you know. SO I asked ChatGPT again.
If your friend is a people pleaser, the best approach is usually to be supportive rather than trying to "fix" them.
Some things that can help:
Respect their boundaries when they set them. If they say no to something, don't pressure them or make them justify it.
Check whether they really want something. People pleasers sometimes agree automatically. You can ask, "Are you sure that's what you want?" or "It's okay if you'd rather not."
Don't take their people-pleasing personally. If they seem to change their opinions depending on who they're with, it may come from anxiety or a desire to avoid conflict rather than dishonesty.
Encourage honesty. Let them know you value their real thoughts, even if they disagree with you.
Notice when they're overextending themselves. If they're taking on too much, gently point it out: "You've been helping everyone lately—have you had time for yourself?"
Be a safe person to disappoint. If they tell you no, respond calmly. This teaches them that your friendship won't fall apart because of a disagreement or boundary.
For example, if you ask a people-pleasing friend to hang out and they say yes, but seem hesitant, you might say:
"You don't have to come if you're tired. I'd rather you be honest than force yourself."
That kind of response can reduce the pressure they feel to make everyone happy.
One thing to avoid is constantly calling them a "people pleaser" or criticizing them for it. Many people pleasers already worry a lot about letting others down. They usually benefit more from having friends who make it safe to be authentic than from being repeatedly told they need to change.
So... It's not bad of being a people pleaser. Stay kind, and don't forget to set boundaries.
Why am I that "attached" to you?
There are 8 billion people in this world. I have a God, family, friends, strangers, etc. But only ONE that I had attention is on YOU! I even stalk all your social media accounts in different platforms, I even stalk both your parents social media. I also stalk your spotify playlists, and made a playlist about you. Like, am I gay, got some mental issues, or just.. crazy? Like what am I doing with my life bruh? Don't freak out as I mention some characteristics of this person I get "attached" to. Why? Why I was into you instead of them?? Cuz your name fits you perfectly, and you have positive energy, you're nice, kind, and friendly (as like we're friends but not really that close as a friend). The problem is... we're not that close. I assume if we're really like, really close, like best friends, I wouldn't care bout you that crazy. To the one I get "attached" to, I'm terribly sorry, I felt like grateful and regret at the same time that I met you. But... I'd look forward becoming friends, I promise I would not be that weird. just react to my shared reels I sent you.
Tuesday, November 18, 2025
Life update
Thursday, January 30, 2025
Visit Exotic Car Wash and Spa
This year's chinese new year celebration is different
Hi, back again at The Life of Calvin, Yesterday, me and my family celebrated chinese new year. Now anyways lets get onto the story
D-1: The Jakarta Floods
The Chinese New Year Celebration
Thursday, January 16, 2025
TUGAS1 DSI
Pekerjaan yang muncul akibat perkembangan teknologi
1. IT
2. Admin Media Sosial
3. Developer aplikasi/game
Pengertian Konten Negatif di Dunia Maya
- Pornografi
- Informasi Hoax
- Promosi Penjudian
- Ujaran Kebencian
- Provokasi
Bagaimana saya menyikapi konten negatif?
Thursday, October 24, 2024
A Review about Google Sites
Google Sites, is an 'easy2use' online web software that makes websites for free. Just like WordPress and Wix.com. You can make some headings, pages, and icons for your website.
But the problem is that it's not available to mobile users, and you couldn't even edit HTML.
I used google sites for my computer assignment. I make these using google sites about my school and province profile.
The problem is the free domain is not available. Which makes my website made here just a part of the sites.google.com page.Thursday, October 3, 2024
My Ups & Downs of Year 9 Retreat Experience
Retreat is not just any ordinary school camp. But there is a character development in it. Today I will be telling the story about my experience during my Retreat session.
Day 1: Preparation
On August 26th 2024, I went to the school to get ready for the trip to the retreat house. When I met my old friends in 8th grade It was great and I think we're back again. We are assigned to the groups according the color I get in my nametag, and I got most of my old friends in the same group. So far day 1 of retreat is not really interesting, so lets skip to Night 1 of the retreat!
Night 1: Where all things start to get interesting
At that night after dinner, we all stand in line where we have to get the password to get in the auditorium. It's like waiting in line early for the new limited PS5 at the GameStop. but we got moved back to the dining room for a little talk by the lead of the event cuz we're late for entering the auditorium. at that time I call it the chair incident. Why? you'll find out urself...
Then, at the end of the night, it's the taize worship session that could be joined by any religion including Atheists. And I guess that's all...
Day 2: It's Getting Bigger!!
When that guy got me I was like "GAME ON!!!" the next day. The session is about being an anti-bullying ambassador. What a coincidence that we just recently demonstrated the bullying part. The Ice Breaking session was bad, not only that it was cringe I was arguing about my life, with a partner I guess. The games in an assigned group at the beginning was great. During the jenga session Someone hid my pencil case. Luckily I saw him doing it and knew the location.
Tonight, which is the peak of the event. We had s reflection session mostly. Also we got our love letters from our parents. I saw some people cry while reading it. Then, the session where we all apologize, to our enemies. This is a very heartwarming experience. During the bedtime. Everyone is so chaotic instead of sleeping, its past 11PM and the teachers are really mad. And thats all for day and night 2
Day 3: Goodbye
The last day. The event ended with a mass and foto sessions. We all greeted by the arrival of the 2nd wave, getting ready for the first day of retreat. And we went home back to school with the bus.
Thats all for today. Sorry no photos to protect our privacy.
Tuesday, September 17, 2024
Sekilas tentang Informatika
For those who prefer to read it in English please go here
Halo, kembali lagi dengan saya, Calvin. Pada halaman ini saya akan menjelaskan tentang informatika/komputer. (buat tugas sekolah)
Sekilas tentang Informatika
Apa itu Informatika?
Komputer
Software
- Operating Systems (OS)
- Software / Application
Hardware
- CPU
- RAM
- GPU
- Processor
- Motherboard
- Hard drive (bisa HDD maupun SSD)
Peripherals
Input
- External Storage
- USB thumb drive
- SD Card
- Optical Drive
- External Hard Drive
- Floppy Diskette
- TF Card
- CF Card
- Memory Stick
- Mouse
- Keyboard
- Digital/MIDI Keyboard
- Microphone
Output
- Monitor
- Speaker
- Headphone
- Printer
- Proyektor
Friday, September 13, 2024
More About Me
I created the about page long ago. But my old version is kinda based and cringe. So I'm gonna revise it. Btw there's a translate option available in the sidebar for those who wanna read it in your preferred language
About Me
| Me posing a Dab in 2017 (if u don't know what a dab is ur gen alpha) |
My Interests
- Movies
- Music
- Art
- IT (Computers)
- Technology
- Comedy
- Productions
My hobbies
- Songwriting
- Piano
- Coding
- Kite
- Making YouTube videos
Favourite f&b and dessert
- French Fries
- Fried Chicken
- Indomie
- Nasi Goreng
- Ayam Kremes
- Toasted bread with no crusts
- Vannila Ice Cream in a cone
- Coca-Cola
- Cold Water
- Popcorn
- Root beer
- Sprite
- Pocari Sweat
Favourite Music
- Curl - Jack Stauber
- Charlie Brown - The Coasters
- Christmas Kids - Roar
- My Song - Labi Siffre
- Good Morning - Kanye West
- Loretta - Ginger Root
- Gypsy Woman - Crystal Waters
- Hey Kids - Molina
- Bla Bla Bla - Gigi D'Agustino
- Ride It - Jay Sean
- Maria Maria - Santana
- A Bird's Last Look - Macabre Plaza
- Street Player - Chicago
- The Bomb - The Bucketheads (Kenny Dope)
- Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber
- Who Let the Dogs Out - Baha Men
- Witch Doctor - David Seville / Cartoons
- Doodah - Cartoons
- Push Up - Creeds
- Take A Slice - Glass Animals
- MacArthur Park - Richard Harris
- Tarzan - Unicorn on Ketamine
- A faint signal - Infinity Frequencies
People that inspired me
- Bo Burnham
- Jack Stauber
- Bryan Furran
- Rizz Records
- Rowan Atkinson
- Arman Vesona
- Jim Carrey
- Rowan Atkinson
- And of course, my "friends" that I knew...
Favourite Movies?
- Truman Show
- Bo Burnham: Inside
- Christine (2016)
- Joker (2019)
- Grand Budapest Hotel
- Sing (2016)
- Sing 2
- The Terminal
- The Batman (2022)
- Despicable Me 4
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I created the about page long ago. But my old version is kinda based and cringe. So I'm gonna revise it. Btw there's a translate opt...
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Hey y'all. If you received this blog post. I need you to keep reading till the end. I know I'm not a main character. But please. It...





