Sorry if this entire blog is about me and relationships, or companionship. Really am I that obsessed to that only topic. Now into the topic. I feel like I'm going crazy, insane, to the point that i need to see a therapist (even i read it like the rapist). These lonely feelings every Friday night are driving me crazy, as if I'm addicted to companionships. Ever since I was a kid, I was lonely. I made friends with the blue elephant and pillows. We had fun together when we went to sleep. It's grade 3. I don't really have a single friend. Well there's another lonely guy like me but I'm too shy to interact that time. At this point I got kicked out from a friend group due to a drama I caused. And just like that I was alone. I really hate breaks at school that year because I had to sit down with someone which they don't want me to sit with them. In grade 5 someone added me to a friend group then kicked me out because I don't fit in the group. So, now you know...
Friendship is like romance for singles. They compete to have a best friend, because best friends are only considered to be only one. Every time someone interacts with my friend better than me, I feel jealous. The battle has begun. The struggle of keeping friendship together... I don't wanna lose one again. I don't wanna get stuck in a loop again. Friendship breakups were the scariest than a normal relationship breakup. Because it happened without a statement like "I wanna break up". It happens slowly as he slowly departs from me. It feels like he's cheating on me. So I should win this competition, but I knew I ain't gonna win this competition. Cuz I'm weak. I'm no better than him and somebody that interacts with him. I got used to holding in too much.